A-Rod remains a Yankee, a douchebag

So Alex Rodriguez is staying with the Yankees. Whatever. I'm sure that was his plan all along, and this whole should-I-stay-or-should-I-go nonsense was just him being an attention whore. I'm over it.

In news I actually give a shit about, the Heat are heading to Boston tonight to assist the Celtics in going 8-0. Yes, Dwayne Wade (love... love... love him) is back from surgery, but the Heat still lost the other night with him playing, and I just don't see Shaquille O'Neal as a threat. He weighs like 400 pounds now. He's too busy fighting the earth's gravitational pull to score points. I'm pretty sure he has a small moon that orbits him at this point. In honor of the impending victory, I will be donning my glitter-fied Paul Pierce jersey and heading over to the North End for a celebratory beer or twelve.

Also, Barry Bonds got indicted. Wait, Barry Bonds did steroids?

Yeah, that's all I got. Also, some guy in London is having his leg amputated so he can qualify for the Paralympics, which seems a little extreme to me, but I guess that's why he's an elite athlete and I'm not.

Going out on Thursday night always seems like a better idea on Thursday night than Friday morning.