New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down

Yes! I love when I get to make hipster music references and talk about sports in the same breath (note the title of this blog).

Some New York radio station is marketing these as a sure-fire way to ensure that the Patriots fold to the Giants in the Superbowl:






That creepy visage is none other than Brady baby mama/goalie-puller extraordinaire Bridget Moynahan. Wow. I guess we might as well call the game off at this point... clearly a bunch of clumsily-fashioned paper masks (I have visions of Giants fans somehow managing to cut themselves with those Crayola safety-blade scissors that preschoolers use) are the ticket to stopping the undefeated offensive juggernaut that is the 2007 New England Patriots. We have a winner, folks.

Didn't someone already try this with Jessica Simpson masks to bring down Babyface Romo? (Ah, crap... maybe there is something to this after all...)

Just kidding. If you'll excuse me, I have to go order the kegs for my Superbowl party -- one for during the game, one for the celebration afterwards.

A few matters of business

List of things to do tomorrow:


1. Find and kill everyone responsible for "Meet the Spartans."




That is all.

The Giants/Packers Drinking Game

So in the off-chance that you're glancing at this during the Giants/Packers halftime, here's a suggestion to liven up the second half: The NFC Championship Drinking Game. The rules are fairly simple. All you have to do is take a sip of your libation of choice -- be it a delicious Harpoon Winter (mmm), a cup of hot chocolate (for the younger folks), your cosmo with a twist (Jeff Garcia), or the bitter tears of your own failure and shame (Peyton Manning) -- every time:

• Troy Aikman reminds you how cold it is in Green Bay.
• FOX shows footage from old Packers games.
• you find yourself applauding Eli Manning for executing a play that any professional quarterback should be able to... somehow it's more impressive when you don't expect it.
• Tom Coughlin's face looks even more purple than it did 5 seconds ago.
• Eli gets caught in the the pocket, yet still manages to avoid the sack.
• Plaxico Burress and Al Harris get in a fight.
• you inadvertently laugh when one of the announcers says "Hedgecock" (ah crap, I just laughed typing that).
• Brandon Jacobs gets taken down at the line of scrimmage.
• Eli Manning's chinstrap looks uncomfortably tight to you.
• Brett Favre shows grit and hustle, and you irrationally detest him for doing so.

That's what I got for now. Savor this day... there's only one more football game to watch after this, and then it's a long cold couple of months until baseball season (FINALLY) starts.

Oh yeah, there was another game today too, right? Who won that again?

Ok, now the fun stuff

Right. I hate to be rant-y without providing a little something to make it go down easier. This guy is (facking) hilarious -- he's been posting these "Fitzy's Wicked Pissah" webcasts all season, and while I'm pretty sure he's not actually from Boston, he pretty much nails the way most of my male acquaintances round these parts talk about football. Enjoy.

Climbing back on the soapbox... just for a minute

So I've already stated where I stand on Kelly Tilghman's comment about lynching Tiger Woods (not that anybody cares what I think, nor should they). No, she did not intend harm with her comment -- in fact, it was made in the context of complimenting Tiger on his dominance of modern golf. Nevertheless, her comment displayed an ignorance and insensitivity that simply does not belong on a national news forum (I know, I know, no one actually watches the Golf Network... I'm making a point here, sir). I think the consequences she faced were necessary and appropriate, and I think it's very important for media outlets (even stuffy, boring ones like the Golf Network) to adopt a no-tolerance policy towards offensive comments and behavior.

Apparently, Golfweek disagrees with me -- or, at the very least, they're missing the point. Here is the cover of the January 19th issue of Golfweek:




Ah yes. Let us fail to internalize the fundamental message behind the Tilghman affair, which is simply this: the language and symbolism of nooses and hanging are loaded with bitter memories and linked to decades of hatred, and thus should be treated with extreme caution. Moreover, let us refuse to let an issue be resolved and let a chastened reporter get on with her life and her career. Let us, instead, put an image of a noose on our front cover; let us continue to drag this story out; let us display a deliberate callousness towards those who have been hurt by this unfortunate incident (most directly, Kelly Tilghman and Tiger Woods).

(At least, that's how I imagine the editors of a magazine like Golfweek must sound.)

This, however, is what really caught my attention:

In the magazine's news story, noted sociologist Harry Edwards, said the public should accept Tilghman's apology.

"If we stopped the train every time somebody made a dumb remark that is potentially offensive," he is quoted as saying, "we'd never progress as a society."

Really? Because to be perfectly honest, I actually think that what keeps us from progressing as a society is that people continue to tolerate "borderline" remarks and attitudes that seem innocuous enough that people fail to realize that their existence is actually symptomatic of the much uglier truth that real racism and sexism exists in pure, unadulterated form in many regions of the country. Like the guy who tried to strike up a conversation with me while we were waiting for the T in East Boston the other day about how many "fucking Spanish people" there were around us. (I'm Latina, dude.)

So, while I certainly feel for Kelly Tilghman and agree with Edwards' assertion that she should be forgiven, I also think it's very important that the "train be stopped" in situations like this so that we can all take a moment to reassess our own values and acknowledge that the battle against prejudice is never truly won.

Would you convict this man?

It's always fun to hop on over to the other side of the pond for a look at what batshit things the hooligans associated with soccer (or "football," as I believe they call it over there) are doing. This little gem in the Daily Mail was just what I needed to cleanse my palette of that ugly Randy-Moss-restraining-order aftertaste. A couple of weeks ago, footballer Bob Malcolm parked his Range Rover smack in the middle of a British highway -- perpendicular to traffic, mind you, so he was across both the middle and the fast lines -- and decided to take a nap. Naturally, he was arrested and taken to court (or "the loo," as I believe they call it over there). His excuse?

Malcolm, who has played three times for Scotland, added: "I would also like to stress that at the time of the incident, I was not driving my car... I had pulled over to the side of the road and was sleeping."

Oh, right, ok. As long as you weren't doing something crazy like DRIVING on the highway, I guess we're good. Thank heaven we cleared that up.

Oh, but it doesn't stop there:

Writing on QPR's website the day after his arrest, he confessed: "I want to apologise to all the supporters and in particular the young fans.

"I recognise that footballers are role models and that, as such, they should set a positive example. On this occasion, I have failed to do that.

"But I must say that I was very upset and frustrated with the poor performance of the referee in our match at Plymouth the evening before."

Well then. As with the Celtics loss to the Bobcats the other night; as with the Patriots almost losing to the Colts earlier this year; as with the Padres being eliminated from playoff contention: blame it on crappy officiating. It seems that we Americans have something in common with our British counterparts after all. Yes, Virginia, it's always the referee's fault.

LeBron James: Atomic Superman

It's not exactly news that LeBron James is really, really, nasty good at basketball. But holy crap, the man scored 51 points in an overtime win against Memphis last night. The game, which marks the 4th time in his already-illustrious career that LeBron has scored 50 or more in a game, included a 25-POINT 4TH QUARTER. Um, that's ridiculous.

He's really showing us what a man with a cannon in his chest can do!

Incidentally, over those 4 times that LeBron has scored 50 or more, Cleveland's record is only 2-2. What a freaking waste. It's got to be a frustrating feeling to score 50-something points in a game knowing that the rest of your lame team can't even get it together to help you win. Kind of like how Erik Bedard feels every time he pitches, I'll bet.

(sorry, John... I try to keep the Cleveland-hating to a minimum)