Let the haterade flow

Today is the first warm day we've had in Boston. It's a glorious 56 degrees outside (that's officially referred to as "polka-dot dress weather" in Raquel-speak), and it seems only fitting to welcome the spring thaw with another spring tradition. That's right, kids... it's time to dust off my hatred of those pinstripers from the Bronx and bring it back to front and center on my mantle.

Now, I'll admit that the sheer joy of our thrilling journey to World Championship Land last fall was almost enough to sate my baseball bloodlust, rendering me magnanimous in victory and simply unconcerned with those pesky Yanks. However, I can thank the excellent Sports Hernia for reminding me why I should NEVER FORGET what unbelievable chumps who deserve to get their asses handed to them in painful and embarrassing fashion the Bronx Bombers truly are. From the mouth of Hank Steinbrenner:

"Go anywhere in America and you won't see Red Sox hats and jackets, you'll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. In fact, it reminds me of that great Chevy commercial about how 'this is our country', I feel as though that was written with the New York Yankees in mind. We're going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order."

First of all, [deep breath] GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Second of all, I thought the Rockies had already claimed to be America's team. Third of all, seriously Hank, SHUT UP. Everything you say is garbage. We know you're trying to step out from under Daddy's shadow, but surely there are ways to accomplish that other than by being an insufferable blowhard. Oh, and it gets worse:

"Now from what I've seen and what my baseball people tell me, they have a fine closer up there in young Papelbon. But I'll be damned if he's the only one doing the Irish jig and running around like Shelley Duncan and my younger Yankees. Let it be known to Red Sox nation that when the Yankees board the Death Star and make their way to Boston for the first time this season in April, you can bet I'll be dancing on their logo as soon as I get there. And if they shave those funny looking socks into the mound area, you can be damn sure I'll be dancing on those too."

Now that's just... like... weird. Is he honestly, deliberately comparing his Yankees to the evil empire of death and destruction in Star Wars? Shouldn't that be the image he's trying NOT to cultivate if they are, in fact, America's team? Will the Yankees actually be riding a gigantic moon-sized space station with the firepower to destroy an entire planet to their first series in Boston? God, I'm so confused!

Ahh... I can feel the Yankees hatred flowing back into my veins, as strong as it ever was. All is right with the world.

It's almost enough to make a girl forget about that embarrassing 10-2 ass-kicking by the Capitals last night. ALMOST. There can't be many players who've managed to score a hat trick within one freaking period of a hockey game...

Oh this is just awesome

Ha! It seems that Topps, maker of baseball cards since back when people actually collected baseball cards, has decided to include a little extra incentive for collectors in the new packs they're releasing next week. 1 in every 70 packs will include a card with former NYC mayor/failed presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani celebrating the Red Sox' 2007 World Series win with the team. (Sorry, that picture quality is kind of crappy, but it's the best I could find.)

Apparently, the card was designed in response to a comment Giuliani made earlier this year: when asked who he was pulling for in the World Series, Giuliani answered that he was supporting the Red Sox because he's "an American League fan." Needless to say, this alienated many Yankees fans (and possibly Mets fans)... and quite frankly confuses the hell out of me. Who gets chauvinistic about their league or conference? I think it's pretty standard practice to root AGAINST whatever team from your conference/league/division/intergalactic space alliance makes it to the playoffs, since their winning a playoffs berth would presumably have excluded your team from doing so at some point along the way. Sure, I pull for the AL during the All-Star game, but only because it may eventually benefit my team for the AL to have won (and because Magglio Ordonez fills me with indescribable joy).

GO EASTERN CONFERENCE! BEAT THOSE WESTERN CONFERENCE SUCKERS!

Nah, it just doesn't get me all that fired up.

I think Rudy is mixing baseball up with politics. In a presidential election, of course, it makes sense that even if the candidate you vote for in the primaries doesn't win the party nomination, you'll still probably vote where your party loyalties lie. Somehow, though, I don't see myself ever cheering the Yankees on in the postseason just because my Red Sox didn't make it there.

Hall of Fame voting is in... nope, you didn't make it.

Unless, that is, you happen to be Rich "Goose" Gossage (if you do happen to be him: congrats). The journeyman fastballer finally managed to secure a spot in Cooperstown after 9 years on the ballot -- he'll be the only player inducted into the HOF this year. Good for him.

Predictably, Mark McGwire did NOT make the cut... in the wake of the Mitchell report brouhaha, he should probably be thankful that he actually still managed to weasel his way to 23.6% of the vote. Don Mattingly scored even lower in the voting. It still surprises me that Mattingly never makes the cut, to be honest. Lord knows I hate the Yankees as much as any red-blooded Sox fan should, but he's Donnie Baseball, for Pete's sake. I understand the arguments about how short his career was, but surely the fact that he was one of the most popular pinstripers of all time while racking up incredible numbers for 5 years (along with a batting title and an AL MVP award) should be taken into account, no?

My favorite part of this year's ballot is the handful of kind-of-good Yankees players who really just got lucky by virtue of playing for a dynastic team at the height of its power languishing down at the bottom with 1 or 2 votes. David Justice. Chuck FREAKING Knoblauch. The only thing Knoblauch was ever good at was having a name that conveniently rhymed with Brian Daubach (remember those days?) and looking kind of like a life-sized Rock 'Em-Sock 'Em Robot.

Oh, Rod Beck is still on the ballot too. Haha. I mean... RIP, dude. I hope they have Amber Bock and deep-fried Oreos in Heaven.

Here ya go.