Wait what

For pretty much the first time since he got traded to Boston, Manny Ramirez isn't voicing his desire to be traded to another team. On the contrary: Manny said he's very happy staying just where he is, and in fact wants to retire with Boston.

Well that's just peachy. Here's a picture of Manny arriving at Fort Myers and looking kind of like a shot of Fergie buying groceries or something in the "Stars: They're Just Like Us!" section of a tabloid.



Seriously, I don't get the pants. But as far as I'm concerned, Manny Ramirez can wear whatever the hell he wants as long as he stays in Boston.

Oh yes, here you go.

Hall of Fame voting is in... nope, you didn't make it.

Unless, that is, you happen to be Rich "Goose" Gossage (if you do happen to be him: congrats). The journeyman fastballer finally managed to secure a spot in Cooperstown after 9 years on the ballot -- he'll be the only player inducted into the HOF this year. Good for him.

Predictably, Mark McGwire did NOT make the cut... in the wake of the Mitchell report brouhaha, he should probably be thankful that he actually still managed to weasel his way to 23.6% of the vote. Don Mattingly scored even lower in the voting. It still surprises me that Mattingly never makes the cut, to be honest. Lord knows I hate the Yankees as much as any red-blooded Sox fan should, but he's Donnie Baseball, for Pete's sake. I understand the arguments about how short his career was, but surely the fact that he was one of the most popular pinstripers of all time while racking up incredible numbers for 5 years (along with a batting title and an AL MVP award) should be taken into account, no?

My favorite part of this year's ballot is the handful of kind-of-good Yankees players who really just got lucky by virtue of playing for a dynastic team at the height of its power languishing down at the bottom with 1 or 2 votes. David Justice. Chuck FREAKING Knoblauch. The only thing Knoblauch was ever good at was having a name that conveniently rhymed with Brian Daubach (remember those days?) and looking kind of like a life-sized Rock 'Em-Sock 'Em Robot.

Oh, Rod Beck is still on the ballot too. Haha. I mean... RIP, dude. I hope they have Amber Bock and deep-fried Oreos in Heaven.

Here ya go.

Fatty Sabathia wins Cy Young; Boston fans demand recount

Dustin Pedroia won the AL Rookie of the Year, so I suppose it was too much to hope for that one of Boston's own also bring home the Cy Young award. Sigh. Cleveland ace C.C. Sabathia edged out Boston's Josh Beckett, the ONLY pitcher in the majors to win 20 games this year, to win this year's AL Cy Young award. The logic, once I temporarily turn off the Masshole portion of my brain, is actually fairly straightforward: Sabathia pitched 40 more innings than Beckett and posted only one win fewer, all on significantly less run support. So, fine. I've said all season that there are plenty of pitchers in the AL with more raw talent than Beckett (Sabathia, Haren, Santana, Bedard, and even Wang before the post-season), and I guess the voting here bears me out. Given the fact that Ryan Braun won the NL Rookie of the Year over Troy Tulowitzski, Sabathia's win seems consistent with the theme of utterly disregarding the postseason in voting. Also, lefty aces are hot. So there you have it. Look how objective I am.


/slips back into Masshole mode
/reads last like 8 issues of Sports Illustrated
/is vindicated



Also, a fun fact: the last time an Indian won the Cy Young, the year was 1972, and his name was Gaylord Perry. Heh. Hehe.



The NL Cy Young winner will not be announced until Thursday, but I'm assuming it will be San Diego's vaguely potato-like Jake Peavy, who had an incredible season that included a 16-strikeout game and an arrest for disorderly conduct at the airport. Brandon Webb is another candidate, although his numbers (18-10, 3.01, 194 K's) simply don't compare to Peavy's (19-6, 2.54, 24o (!) K's). I guess Brad Penny could also be a contender, assuming that dating TV actresses and being less of a waste of space than Jason Schmidt are voting categories. In which case I should also be on the ballot.

Trade rumors: Fun for the whole family!

I've resorted to following the GM meetings and associated trade rumors obsessively this week, only because my love life is so very, very stagnant and devoid of activity. (Unless I sneak over to go make out with my neighbor again, which, let's not lie, I will most likely do, but I won't feel good about it.) But, hey, the exciting world of baseball trades is just as fun!


Lots of rumors flying around now that Theo has concluded his meetings, and, surprisingly, A-Rod has drifted to the back burner. There's still the big question of Lowell, of course, and his decision to take or leave what is reportedly a 4-year deal with Boston will affect whether or not Boston decides to go after Miguel Cabrera. Cabrera is a powerful hitter (.320, 34, 119) but drew lots of raised eyebrows when he returned from last year's offseason significantly fatter than before. Maybe he could explore the Curt Schilling route and work weight incentives into his contract? Heh. Hehe. Fat kids are funny. The other, more scintillating, rumor is that the Sox may be considering a trade for either Dan Haren or Johan Santana. Quite frankly, both of those rumors turn me on. Santana deserves to be on a team that will actually give him run support. Dan Haren is a badass. The current Sox rotation is exciting, yes, but very young, and while a trade for either Haren or Santana would surely mean giving up either Jon Lester or Clay Buchholz, the thought of following Beckett with a Haren or a Santana in the #2 is enough to get a girl pretty excited. Phew, is it hot in here?


Blah blah Brad Lidge blah blah. Yeah, the way to escape your demons is to move to the losing-est team in the history of baseball. Good luck with that. And, in other exciting news, rather than attempting to trade for some big names or explore new management possibilities, Tampa Bay has apparently decided to forgo off-season trade maneuvering altogether and simply change their name and brand identity as the surest route to improving their ballclub. They will no longer be called the Devil Rays, but simply the Rays, and will be sporting the spiffy new logo below:

Um, yay, I guess? I mean, clearly SOMETHING needs to change down there. [Note: That's what she said.] Maybe this is the magic bullet the hapless Devil Rays -- oh, excuse me, the RAYS -- need. I was going to suggest something like signing some damn pitching, or at least teaching your players how not to get thrown out of games, but what do I know? At least one Ray is excited about the change:

"It feels like a fresh start," left fielder Carl Crawford said. "It's like that feeling of going to school on the first day. You get to wear the new uniforms. It feels good. You know what they say, 'You play like you feel.' We feel good, we look good, so hopefully, we'll play good."

Crawford has seen his share of losing, but with the team the Rays had at the conclusion of the 2007 season, he has a renewed optimism about the direction of the franchise, and said that he felt the changes reflect that new direction.

"Most definitely, I'm the most optimistic I've been," he said. "I get to play beside B.J. Upton every day, hopefully hitting in front of him, and Delmon [Young], too. If you can't get excited about playing in that outfield every day, then you don't have a pulse. ... I think this is the best potential we've had since the club came into existence."

Bear in mind that this "potential" Crawford is referring to has nothing to do with any actual trades or changes in the front office. This is strictly based on the name and logo change. Maybe this will become like one of those heartwarming family movies, where the Rays will play really well and make it to the playoffs with their new uniforms, but then something terrible will happen to the new uniforms and they'll have to play in Game 7 of the World Series without them, and they'll be terrified that they can't win without the uniforms, but then Wade Boggs or someone will show up and reveal that IT WASN'T THE UNIFORMS, THEY HAD THE POWER INSIDE THEM ALL ALONG and they'll win the Series and everyone will learn a valuable lesson about life and love.


But probably not.