Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Pitcher, Punctuation, or Parietal Pathway?

Let's play a little game.

The following is a series of snippets of writing taken from various locations around the Web. Your task, dear reader, is to determine whether each of these tidbits is talking about Bartolo Colon, portly Red Sox pitcher; the colon, a lovely (if generally misused) bit of punctuation; or the colon, a section of the large intestine reaching from the cecum to the... well, you know. Sounds like fun!

[Note that all uses of "colon" have been capitalized, and all indefinite articles removed, to make the challenge slightly more difficult.]

  • Colon to have precautionary exam
  • Colon is not necessary
  • Think of Colon as a gate, inviting one to go
  • The wheels started turning and Colossal Colon was born!
  • You will find differing advice on the use of Colon
  • A healthy Colon is essential
  • Once Colon gets fully stretched out
  • Stuffing ourselves with good food is something that we all need to do once in awhile, but if we want to keep our Colon healthy, and in top shape, we have to do a little cleansing afterwards
  • On the fast track? Colon solid in debut
  • Colon really does only one thing

Bonus fact: A History of the Naming of Colon, MI.

This town was founded in the mid 1830’s by the Schellhouse family, one of the first to settle in the area. It was named by Lorensie Schellhouse when he opened a dictionary at random and saw the word: "colon."

(no I am not making that up)

Update: Others find this as funny as I do. Thanks, Kevin!


The Sports Hernia said...

Hernia plea: If the Sox are going to carry a hilarious looking fat man for the sake of carrying a hilarious looking fat man, please let it be El Guapo.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

El Guapo!

I just got all... nostalgic and shit. Might be time to listen to "Sweet Caroline" for the 80 billionth time today.

So good!
So good!
So good!

Pepster said...

Absolutely hilarious title!

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Hypothetical future headlines:

"Doctor examines Colon"

"Theo: Colon Is Full of Shit"

"Colon Has Problem With Runs"