Anyhoo, I mention Hatteberg in order to transition (seamlessly and effortlessly) into an introduction of Kevin Cash, the catcher who will be starting behind the plate as Wakefield takes the mound in Toronto tonight.
And guess what? He sucks at offense too. His CAREER BATTING AVERAGE (granted, only about 100 or so major-league games, but still) is .167. Really? We jettisoned Mirabelli for this? Still, Cash had a
Poor Josh Bard. It's got to suck to be a talented prospect for a World Series-winning team and know that your only shot at ever playing is contingent upon learning how to catch some goofy pitch. If this were a movie, a magic talking goat or something would teach him how to catch knuckleballs just in time for the big game, and we'd all learn a valuable lesson about being true to who you are and always following your dreams. But because this is the real world, instead his ass gets shipped to the Padres and we end up with some dummy who'll be flirting with the Mendoza line all season.