Thursday, August 23, 2007

Apparently baseball is NOT on the list of things that Maryland does

Ouch. It's one thing to blow a 3-0 lead. It's another thing entirely to blow that lead and wind up surrendering 30 runs to the Texas Rangers in the highest-scoring game since 1897, when the Chicago Colts (who?) beat the Louisville Colonels (what?) 36-7. [Side note: I didn't even realize they PLAYED baseball in 1897. I thought all they did was twirl their enormous moustaches while saying things like "Consarn it" and voting for Grover Cleveland.*] But that, in fact, is what the hapless Orioles did at Camden Yards last night. Highlights included a 9-run 6th inning and a 10-run 8th in front of a stadium so empty you could hear the grass growing. This was only part 1 of a double-header, too. You'd think the Orioles would play like they had something to prove in Game 2, at least, but they still wound up dropping that one 9-7. Texas had a grand total of 92 at-bats last night. Dear god. If I played for the Orioles, I don't think I would be able to get out of bed today.

That smiling hottie, of course, is Jarrod Saltalamacchia, who went 4-6 in the clobbering last night, with 2 homers and 7 RBIs.

As for the Red Sox, apparently Dice-K didn't get the let's-give-this-one-to-the-Rays-just-to-be-nice memo that everyone else did, as the starter pitched a gem while his offense refused to give him any run support. What a waste. The Yanks finally figured out how to beat the Angels last night, so Boston's lead in the AL East slipped to 5 games. The Cards continued to stay in the fight for the NL Central title as Albert Pujols hit his 30th homer of the year in an 8-2 win over the Marlins.

Good lord. I still can't get over the box score in that Orioles game.

*Correction for the sake of historical accuracy: William McKinley was actually president in 1897. (Thanks, Google!) But Grover Cleveland sounds funnier. Because his name is Grover. He. H

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