Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Something to take Atlanta's mind off that nasty dog-fighting business

Mark Teixeira banged out two home runs last night in the Braves' 14-4 victory over the Reds. In the 18 games Teixeira has played in since he arrived in Atlanta on the eve of the non-waiver trade deadline, he has hit 9 homers (according to my awesome powers of mathematical reasoning, that's a homer every 2 games. Holy crap. That's also just two home runs fewer than Coco Crisp and J.D. Drew have hit COMBINED, THIS ENTIRE SEASON. Hooray for the Boston outfield... and thank god for Manny Ramirez.) and 25 RBIs. Well done on that trade, Braves. Well done, indeed.

Tim Wakefield continued his dominance of the Devil Rays last night, tossing 7 shutout innings as the Red Sox cruised to a 6-0 victory at Tropicana Field. It's rare that I would describe a knuckleballer as "dominant," but I guess a 9-0 season record against a franchise merits that term. Plus, if any team is going to be dominated by a knuckleball, it's going to be Tampa Bay. They'd be dominated by a drunk baby throwing a tennis ball. (Which, now that I think about it, sounds awesome. Let get some toddlers sauced up and see what they can do.*) So there you have it... and in his quiet, unassuming way, Wakefield scooped up his 15 victory of the season to put him in a tie for most wins in the league with the Braves' Tim Hudson (also a winner last night), the Angels' John Lackey, and, OF COURSE, Boston's beloved Josh Beckett. Booyah.

While all this was going on, some jackoff in pinstripes hit his league-leading 40th home run of the season, but still didn't manage to help his team beat the Angels; Milwaukee's (Best) Prince Fielder answered with his 39th homer as the Brewers took command of the hotly contested #1 spot in the NL Central. And, for now, Jim Barr's 1972 record of 41 consecutive retired batters remains unbroken, as Bobby Jenks gave up a single to Kansas City's Joey Gathright in the 9th. Jenks still managed to get the save, however, and the White Sox eked out a win. Only 13.5 games out of first, guys! And finally (/most excitingly), Rick Ankiel cranked out his 4th homer since his triumphant return to the Cardinals to help his team beat the Cubbies 6-4. In another game highlight, Ankiel threw a bullet from left field to keep Ryan Theriot from scoring a triple. Damn, what an arm that kid has... maybe he should be a pitcher! Wait... OH GOD NO... *starts foaming at the mouth* WHAT HAVE I SAID!

(where are my babies, where did I put my babies)

A little football, a little baseball. Something for everyone today.

*Disclaimer: I do not actually endorse babies getting drunk. Babies make mean drunks. Take it from someone who knows.

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