Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Being not a loser now apparently the same thing as being an actual winner

Hurrah for the Denver Broncos. By defeating Vince Young and the Titans on MNF last night, the team improved to 5-5 and is now tied for first place in the cesspit of mediocrity that is the AFC West with the San Diego Chargers, and we all get to enjoy an asinine Tuesday morning lovefest celebrating the Bronco's singular accomplishment of no longer being losers. Still not winners, mind you, but non-losers nonetheless.

After the game, Brandon Marshall was boasting that "It's always been our division. It's time for us to take it back. San Diego, Kansas City, they don't have the talent like us in the locker room. They have star players but can't get it done like us." Uhh... seriously? The Broncos are 5-5. You know who else is 5-5? The Redskins. The Bills. The goddamn Houston Texans. Both AFC wildcards will probably end up with better records than Denver even if Denver does manage to hold onto the division over the Chargers, Chiefs (shudder), and Raiders (double shudder). So, seriously, spare me the congratulatory prose.

In case you're wondering about the gargantuan man whose picture is gracing this post, he's there because a Google image search for "Jay Cutler" turns up not images of the freshfaced former Vanderbilt QB who's currently leading his team to uninspired not-victory-but-not-defeat-either, but rather this other Jay Cutler, who is apparently some sort of famed bodybuilder from Massachusetts (clearly a Masshole. Look at the size of his cranial cavity compared with the rest of his body. Oh I love us). Google Image will, however, politely ask, "Did you mean 'Jay Cutler broncos'?"

On another NFL note, are the Eagles seriously going to have to play the Pats without Donovan McNabb this weekend? The Eagles defense is allowing an average of 20.0 points per game this season, which puts them right in the middle of the NFL pack, but an average defense combined with a rookie quarterback (who has no actual season experience) against the Mack Daddy of all football teams, ever? Dear god. The spread on this game is going to have to be like 32.

Ok, the above rant about the Broncos hoopla is kind of mean, so here's this. What I really wanted to post was that South Park clip where they're in church and they all chant "Let's go Broncos," but since YouTube is now some sort of fascist state (In Soviet Russia, YouTube watches YOU!!!), I couldn't find it anywhere. So I'm posting the obvious clip from last week's South Park instead.

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