Sunday, January 27, 2008

There are no words

If you can make it all the way through this video without collapsing on the floor as you choke from trying to hold back the bile rising in your throat, congratulations. Some weirdo Giants fan (a dude, no less) made this Eli Manning video, which is eerily reminiscent of the kind of thing you'd expect to see when a high schooler dies and they play a tribute to them at graduation or something. Seriously, who the hell puts together a football video to the tune of "Time After Time"? You'd expect "Eye of the Tiger" or "Welcome to the Jungle" or something, I don't know, MANLY. Not an end-of-the-wedding-reception slow dance number. If you can manage to sift through the treacly, simpering affection for Manning and the overload of video special effects -- it's like watching the opening graphics for Sunday Night Football for 4 minutes straight -- there's a particularly hilarious shirtless photo of Eli at around 2:19. He seriously looks like a 12-year-old kid.

What's so funny is that, as stupid as this video is, the overall aesthetic of it seems perfectly suited to Eli Manning. I wouldn't be surprised if he commissioned it himself. "Oh, dude, can you use that Cindy Lauper song? The one they dance to in Napoleon Dynamite? Man, I love that movie. It really reminds me of my own life experience as an awkward, skinny high-schooler. Plus, remember that part when the guy says "quesadilla," but he says it funny? Haha. I love that part."

No comments: