Friday, February 1, 2008

Jerramy Stevens: Asshole -- or, Jerramy Stevens' Asshole

I've been reading the unbelievably sordid tale of the 2000 Washington Huskies (I've noted elsewhere that I hate the Huskies, but that has nothing to do with this) from the Seattle Times. It's a great piece of journalism: comprehensive, thorough, well-researched, and an absolutely devastating indictment of the way NCAA sports delirium can subvert all common notions of decency.

One of the more brutal tales is that of Jerramy Stevens (who, let's not lie, everyone already knew was a complete piece of garbage). In the article, we are given the story of Marie, a 19-year-old who was drugged, raped, and sodomized by Stevens in the dirt outside a frat house. Stevens later assured her he had only walked her home and kissed her goodnight... it took a trip to the emergency room for Marie to learn the truth.

It was deeply gratifying, after reading this, to click my way over to Stevens' Wikipedia entry and find that some clever wiki guerilla had amended Ste
vens' bio thus:

Jerramy Stevens (born November 13, 1979 in Boise, Idaho) is a National Football League tight end playing for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He was signed April 29th as a free agent with the Buccaneers. Stevens played college football at the University of Washington. He currently lives in Bellevue, Washington and loves receiving anal sex.

I'm sure that will be taken down soon, but, thankfully, it now has a permanent home here. Read it. Savor it. And to you, Anonymous Wreaker of Poetic Wikipedia Justice: I salute you.


smurphette said...

Word. Couldn't have said it better myself. I wanted to puke when I read that article.

yournamehere said...

I was unaware of this. Is there a reason he isn't in prison?

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Yup. WashU and their wealthy alumni lawyers hushed the whole thing up -- with the university's blessing. Hideous.

Anonymous said...

As a resident of the Seattle Metro-area, I humbly apologize for that shitstain of a tight end. The Karma Gods are starting to give him his just dessert by messing with his free agent year.