Friday, February 22, 2008

Scott Boras: not all the way black?

It feels a bit like MLB must be desperate to drub up some more baseball news -- the season's kicking into gear with the speedy approach of spring training games, and yet there's surprisingly little controversy or drama to get people's attention. The baseball preseason is always different from the football preseason in that sense, and yet this year seems even more tepid than usual. Ryan Howard wins his arbitration? Makes sense. The Phillies never freaking win anything. The Marlins are getting a new stadium? They'll probably wind up dismembering Hanley Ramirez's body and selling his limbs on eBay to pay for a tank of exotic-looking tropical fish in one of the lobbies. It's seriously not even clear to me that the Marlins even have a team to put on the field come opening day. The only other baseball news is that steroids garbage, and lord knows we're all just as sick of that as can be.

Where, then, are we to turn for a source of fresh, exciting baseball news?

Oh, Gary Sheffield. What on earth would we do without you?

This time, Sheffield got people's attention by coming out and badmouthing Scott Boras to anyone who would listen.

"Total hell," [Sheffield] said. "I shouldn't have ever introduced myself to him. Period. Bad person."

Sheffield and Boras parted ways in 2003, so there legitimately seems to be no reason on earth why Sheffield would bring this up now other than that he's dying for attention. It's like his brain is actually a random controversial phrase generator that periodically spews out sound bites containing the words "black," "Joe Torre," "blame," "steroids," and "Barry Bonds." I'm surprised he doesn't talk in one of those weird computer voices.

The best part of the ESPN story is that Sheffield openly, gleefully admits that he loves the attention he gets by being such a loudmouth.

"My family has been trying to get me to walk away for a while now because they don't like the negative stuff that comes my way. I love it," Sheffield acknowledged. "I try to explain it to them, but they think that's some psychotic thing."

Points for honesty, anyway. And how great is that picture of Sheffield? He looks like he's in costume to play a substitute teacher on Saved By The Bell. Baseball would be so boring without people like Gary Sheffield. It'd be all Joe Mauers and Khalil Greenes living clean and exhibiting sportsmanship while high-fiving one another after games and saying things like "aw shucks" when they struck out. In other words: the Colorado Rockies. Guhhh.

1 comment:

The Hockey Bunny said...

Can you please write a post about how Scott Boras is ruining baseball? K thanks bye.